I finally feel like I'm getting it back. Coming out of....the shadow - the Black Dog, as Sir Winston so aptly called it. I've been off my groove for 2-3 months - uninspired, unmotivated, undone. This is a first for me, and I found it very unsettling, very distasteful...but couldn't even care about how the Unhappy World of Un made me feel. There were a number of factors contributing to my state of Un, not the least of which is my age (55) and my health (not the best). I've taken the health thing by the horns and am wrestling it to the ground - making serious lifestyle changes and feeling much better. Other mitigating factors have also changed and improved, as well. Overall, the shadow is lifting.
The hardest part of the World of Un for me was not wanting to draw or create. Anything. It just dried up - like a lovely, sparkling stream gone completely dry and lifeless. That's how I felt.
Even though I knew I shouldn't. Knew I should feel grateful, happy, joyful...because of the profound blessings in my life.
All that to say, I've finally drawn something. A few things, actually, and I liked them. It's been a process, with fits and starts, but I'm definitely getting it back. It started small, a trickle, with an embellished logo on our church bulletin on Sunday, but I was quite smitten with it! :)
Just a scrawl, unplanned, unthinking, unhindered. The very heart of Zentangle. It whetted my appetite for more. That night, I got out the Strathmore Toned Tan journal I'd bought a while back which had been sitting patiently on my desk, and tangled another sunflower. There it was. That joy, that satisfaction, that pleasure.
Then I decided I wanted to dive all the way in and draw a Tangled Garden of my own. I've been watching with interest for several months the organic tangles and tangled gardens of CZT's all over blogland and FB, drawn on the toned tan and toned gray paper. I just simply could not bring myself to lift my micron! :D Until this week.
What a pleasant journey from shadow to sunlight. My mind is filled with ideas for more Tangled Gardens and Tangled Garden classes.
Thank you, Lord, for your sustaining, strengthening, sympathetic love. ♥
"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and streams in the desert."
Isaiah 43:19
